The Accidental Mathematician

Would a mathematician pass the Turing test?


You’ve probably seen the recent announcement that a computer passed the Turing test for the first time. The announcement was followed by a healthy round of skepticism and mockery, with transcripts of chats with “Eugene” posted on a number of websites. Among other things, it has been pointed out that introducing “Eugene” as a 13-year-old Ukrainian boy holding a conversation in English would dupe most people into giving him much more slack with regard to awkward language and deficient social graces than they might otherwise.

Well, why Ukrainian boys and not mathematicians? I didn’t get to chat with Eugene. However, here is a conversation that I might or might not have had with an internet user that we’ll call Boris. I’ll let you decide.

IL: Hi Boris. I’m Izabella Laba and I work at UBC.

BORIS: Hi Izabella, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Boris. So what classes do you teach this semester?

IL: Actually, it’s summer and I don’t teach.

BORIS: That’s very interesting. So how many students do you have?

IL: I’ve just told you I don’t teach in the summer. But tell me about your research.

BORIS: As you probably know, I work on modulated gvoorups on questable aussifolds. I have proved that if a modulated gvoorup has a subquestable chain of hyperchenettes, then the aussifold must be oubliettable. This links several areas of mathematics and should have implications for the rapidly developing field of quasialgebraic oubliettability. You can read my papers to learn more about this interesting and exciting area of research.

IL: That sounds fascinating. What is a gvoorup?

BORIS: You can read my papers to learn more about it.

IL: … OK. But can you tell me why you are interested in gvoorups?

BORIS: It is a very interesting and exciting area of research. So what do you work on?

IL: Well, harmonic analysis on fractal sets.

BORIS: It is a very difficult area of research in which it is very difficult to have any new ideas.

IL: How do you know that?

BORIS: This is well known to everyone in the field, even if it has never been published. So who do you work with?

IL: Uhm, I’ve been a full professor for some time now. Are you assuming that I’m a junior researcher because I’m a woman?

BORIS: Women are more interested in teaching than in research. If you’re looking for more women, you should go to a teaching related forum.

IL: I’m pretty sure I’m more interested in research than in teaching.

BORIS: That’s great. So what classes do you teach this semester?

IL: You’re repeating yourself. I’ve answered this already.

BORIS: That’s very interesting. Have you seen my paper on gvoorups from 1995? It may be relevant to your work.

IL: Honestly, I doubt it.

BORIS: It’s been nice meeting you. Please let me know if you have any questions about my paper.