Everything I needed to know about research, I learned from the Wroclaw dwarves

When embarking on a research project, a dwarf must be ambitious and aim high. Do not be intimidated by a particularly high doorstep or lamppost base. They are all meant to be climbed.

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Naturally, research ain’t easy and many a dwarf will feel overwhelmed at times.

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But don’t underestimate the power of collaboration. Two dwarves can always accomplish more than one. If they want to, of course.

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Resist the temptation to live on coffee alone. Have something to eat from time to time. Don’t sleep in your office, either, if you can help it.
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When faced with duress and hardship, a dwarf must pretend that it ain’t happening, maintain a positive attitude, and keep doing the good work for everyone’s benefit. Recommended by many department chairs and administrators all over the world.

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If you follow these recommendations carefully, young dwarf, you will have a beautiful and illustrious research career before you. In the fullness of time, you may even become a tenured full professor. It will then be your turn to dispense career advice to the unsuspecting beginners.

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(For the backstory on the dwarves, see here.)

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